Thursday, May 13, 2010

A Clue, Perhaps


According to the directions on a jug of liquid drain cleaner, after allowing it to work for thirty minutes, the product was to be flushed through the drain with hot water. But since the drain in question is in the bathroom sink at the far end of the house, the arrival of hot water would come only after half a minute or so of cold, thus reducing the cleaner’s effectiveness. The answer, my wife said, was to bring hot water from the kitchen in our tea kettle. This made sense — and so, about ten minutes before it was needed, I started filling the kettle with water and was about to put it on the stove to heat when she asked why I didn’t fill the kettle with hot water directly from the kitchen faucet, and take that to the bathroom. Well — the fact is, the thought never occurred to me. Had she not intervened, had she gone outside to plant flowers or feed the cats, I would have heated the water to boiling; I had already done so in my mind; I know, because I was also concerned about using water that hot in the bathroom sink — because it didn’t even occur to me that I could heat the water only part way. And I doubt it would have, because by then I had jumped ahead to weeding the irises, and thinking about Vincent Van Gogh. I tried to draw an iris the other day, but it was black, and it ended up wearing an old shoe. I think that’s what reminded me of Van Gogh. Those beautiful shoes he drew. And irises. And souls. And you.


Update:
In the Forum: an involuntary morning epic.

17 comments:

ALeks said...

Hopelessly romantic,that's what you are!! :O)
Where would you be without that love of your life,your clever lady?!? Love to picture your thoughts,black irises with souls on their shoes!! Have a nice day!
Aleksandra

William Michaelian said...

Thanks, Aleksandra, and how right you are — I would be lost without her guidance. Best wishes!

Janice said...

Wow William...your mind & thoughts have been very busy in this post. You have gone from the bathroom drain, to irises wearing black shoes, to Van Gogh and souls. You must be tired :) Take a short break and stop thinking for a few moments...your intelligent wife has taken care of the problem :)

William Michaelian said...

Intelligent, yes, and kind, and yet she made that one fatal mistake years ago, and is still paying for it. The drain is clear, by the way.

Silvie Martin said...

I loved this! Read it before teaching my morning class and laughed so loud my students asked if I had finally gone mad. It reminded me of a piece Mak Twain wrote--something about repairing locks in his home, I don't remember exactly, but his wife and daughters came to his rescue. Paul will enjoy this because he would have done the very same thing. Oh you thinkers! From drain cleaner to Van Gogh. What a great way to see the world! Thanks William!

William Michaelian said...

Wait — does this mean you’re thanking me for being nuts? If so, I accept. I also accept the Harmless Kook Award, should one ever be given. “Thinker” — I like that.

all ways 11 o'clock said...

...before you a canvas of Iris leaves with drain cleaner flowers.
I love it.

William Michaelian said...

And Robert, because of your nice comment, you win the Bonus Haiku Award:

Before Iris leaves,
the drain cleaner flowers —
that’s why I love her so.

Or maybe that should be “Bogus.”

all ways 11 o'clock said...

Why, thank you very much!!!

Old 333 said...

I totally have wrecked a drain pouring boiling water in it too many times. Crack! These new plastic jobs...

William Michaelian said...

Robert, you’re quite welcome. I can see how moved you are — and you should be, because you are the first, and most likely the last, recipient. Don’t let it go to your head!

PG, let that be a lesson to everyone. Also, I have decided to replace your “d” in “drain” with a “t.”

Wine and Words said...

A black Iris wearing a shoe??? Ahhh, the dark and twisty me would like a bouquet of those please.

William Michaelian said...

Very well. I’ll even throw in a cigar.

Janice said...

"never the twain shall meet" :)

William Michaelian said...

Janice, you’re right on track!

Woman in a Window said...

You are most certainly distracted and mad -

in all the right ways.

Even the plumbers would agree.

xo
erin

William Michaelian said...

Thank you, Erin. I find that reassuring. I hope they bring it up at their next meeting.