Tuesday, December 1, 2009


My old black sport coat has a hole in the right elbow. I discovered it yesterday. I don’t know how long it’s been there, but it’s about the size of a walnut, and the area around the hole is quite worn. I could go on using the coat, but that would only hasten its demise. And yet I need the coat, for the warmth and friendship it provides. I also don’t want to abandon it. I refuse to treat it like an old coat.

An idea: a photographic portrait of the coat not wearing me.

Another idea: a lengthy interview with the coat.

A third: record the coat’s reminiscences, beginning with its earliest memories as a child in Hungary.

Idea Four: an award-winning black-and-white documentary.

Five: hang the coat near my desk and keep it supplied with cigarettes.

6: commit suicide and be buried in the coat, but only if it’s willing.

: starve to death in the coat while insisting that I am Yuri Andreievich Zhivago.

ask the coat what it wants :


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Recently Linked: My thanks to N. God Savage, a writer and philosopher in Belfast, for signing on as a follower of Recently Banned Literature.

“Devastated” added to Notebook. (Old notes archived here.)

“Boyle’s Law Goes to Hell” added to Useless Information.

In the Forum: the feathers and cockroaches of a musing, philosophical organism.


awyn said...

Wonderful entry. I vote for #3.

William Michaelian said...

Thanks. I’ll have to wait until tomorrow. The coat was out very late last night, and refused to say where it had been.

Elisabeth said...

I think of Gogol's wonderful story The Overcoat and like Awyn I vote for 3.

William Michaelian said...

As it turns out, I wore the coat to a coffeehouse this morning, where I met two writer-friends of mine. It made fun of me the whole time we were there, and embarrassed me in front of a pretty young barista by asking her out.

Gogol is great. I’ve had similar trouble with my nose.

: appeals to my dramatic sense. Still trying to decide.

isabelle said...

May I suggest a seventh?

The coat, of course needs help... a careful patching or stitching or darning, worn like a scar; a battle wound from thoughtful elbows.

That way, you get to keep each other.

William Michaelian said...

You’re right. Its behavior lately could be interpreted as a cry for help. But the help it needs is in the psychological realm. Exhausted from chasing it around town, I fell asleep at my desk, only to awaken and find myself on a hanger in the closet.

~im just only me~ said...

your coat sounds like the rebel without a cause type... perhaps the addition of some leather elboy patches would do it good...

William Michaelian said...

Perhaps, but I’m afraid it will start submitting stories to Harper’s.

Imagined word verification: “qwerty”