Sunday, February 12, 2017

You don’t reason with a crocodile

Have you noticed that criticizing others is bad for your health? With each instance of criticism, a small dose of poison is injected into your system. The stronger the habit, the more drugged and paralyzed you become. The same thing happens when you criticize yourself. I’m fat, I’m stupid, I’m a failure, my nose is too big, I’m afraid of speaking in public — there’s no end to it. I should do this, but instead I always do that. And so does he, and so do they, look at them, who do they think they are, ruining everything for the rest of us. Us, them, I’m right and everybody’s wrong, and this poison charges through the system, day and night, turning itself into nightmares and aches and pains and poor digestion, then the next thing you know it’s off to the doctor if you can afford one, so he or she can prescribe more poison. Or you simply lash out and make everyone around you miserable. What do you mean, you don’t agree with me? You must be blind if you can’t see how obviously right I am! Anyway, it’s something to think about. But don’t think too long, because that too is bad for your health. The less thinking the better. You don’t reason with a crocodile. You say hello, then quickly step aside and move on.


Jonathan Chant said...

Spot on. Plenty of reason here, William.

William Michaelian said...

Thanks, Jonathan. Occasionally I still make sense, but the instances are getting to be fewer and farther between. A good sign, I think.

Gary B. Fitzgerald said...

Dear Sir:

We are writing on behalf of our clients to insist that you cease and desist your libelous and defamatory comments about crocodiles. We believe that it is unfair and unjust to compare innocent crocodiles to dishonest, violent, cruel and evil humanoid primates.

Sincerely yours,
(Alligators, Crocodiles and Lizards United)

William Michaelian said...

Well, then. So much for having thick skins.

Gary B. Fitzgerald said...

I figured I owed you a grin, so now we're even.
Great comment, though, and so true.

William Michaelian said...

Thanks, Gary. I think we were already even. But either way, I’m relieved we were able to settle this out of court.